A Second Choice
by EleanorKate
Summary: From a prompt from latinisdead. Single chapter fic. Set just after his mother's death Timothy and Sister Evangelina have a heart to heart, overheard by Sister Bernadette who considers her choice in life.


Just as she turned the corner into Lodore Street, that was when she spotted him. Shoulders down, dragging his feet, brown schoolbag slung across his body as he wandered, dressed in that uniform that was just about one size too big ready to be 'grown into'.

"Poor boy" she thought, slowing down her bicycle slightly to let a rusty van turn. It had only been ten or so days since she saw the funeral cortege slowly wind itself down the Dock Road into All Saints. All at Nonnatus had turned out, walking down to pay their respects; Dr Turner and his boy sitting close in the back seat of the black car as it followed the hearse. Both cars were gleaming in the mid-morning sunlight in the heavy air and the coffin was seen by all, adorned in white lilies, respectfully carried inside as three dock workers who happened to be passing, whipped off their caps and bowed their heads. She recalled every sorrowful minute as they said goodbye far too early.

Now it would seem that the boy was back at school and as Sister Evangelina caught up with him, she could see he was heading towards Nonnatus.

"Timothy!" she called after him and he turned slowly, the minutest smile on his face although he looked pale; as though he had not slept. "Is your father collecting you from here again?" she asked. She had lost count of the amount of times that someone Nonnatus had become a surrogate child minder for Timothy, thrust into the hands of a nurse or nun these last few weeks but all things considered, it was not something that she would hold against the doctor one bit.

"Yes Sister" Timothy replied, seeing her dismount her bicycle so they could walk side by side. "He arranged it with Sister Bernadette. So he can stay longer at work tonight".

Sister Evangelina nodded. "Come on in then" she replied the Summer sun beating down on her back. "I am sure we can find you something to tide you over until he arrives".

Timothy smiled that same sad smile again and, after he had waited for the Sister to secure her bicycle in the shed, followed her in up the steps to Nonnatus and into the hallway. The place was really rather quite quiet but Timothy was glad. He couldn't bear being fussed over like Grandma had been doing; being treated as though he had no understanding of the finality of death or had not asked his father so many questions about that disease that he had exhausted the doctor more than anything else. He had to know though, have it straight in his mind so he could understand.

"Go and sit in the sitting room" she said as they walked down towards the kitchen, gently placing her hand in his back to encourage him along. He did her bidding without another word and decided he may as well start on his homework, laying out his text books and jotter on the low table. Timothy knew what his Dad's 'I'll only be an hour or so' actually meant and he could see he may be here for most of the evening so he had best make use of the time and get started. It would also stop him wondering if all he had to think about was plate tectonics and volcanic eruptions.

Sister Evangelina sighed and turned towards the treatment room, ready to replenish her bag when she saw Sister Bernadette walking towards her. "Your charge is in the sitting room" the older Sister noted quietly, gesturing behind her, keeping her voice down so the boy did not hear.

"Timothy?" Sister Bernadette responded eagerly, looking over her shoulder, seeing the other Sister nod. "Yes, Doctor Turner asked if he could come to us for an hour. Apparently it's the first day since he reopened the surgery and he isn't too amused with the locum and the state the Surgery has been left in".

"Doctor Turner is never amused. You would think the death of his wife might make him stop for a moment", Sister Evangelina stated, seeing a nod in agreement, even though the younger Sister felt terrible at criticizing him particularly as he seemed to do so well in caring for the boy these days with the loss so significant. "You know he works every hour sent to him. Are you on your way out?" Sister Evangelina asked.

"Just over the road to the Vicarage" the younger replied. "Reverend Williams wants to talk about the arrangements for the Summer Fayre. I should only be about half an hour or so. Its only to tie up loose ends so I really cannot foresee me being there for long".

Sister Evangelina nodded. "I will attend to Timothy".

"I am sorry" Sister Bernadette replied genuinely. "I know it was me that encouraged Dr Turner to send him here and here I am with other matters to attend to..."

"It's half an hour" Sister Evangelina responded sharply, trying not to sound as though she was about to lose her patience in trying times for all concerned. "Even I can manage not to upset someone for half an hour!" Sister Bernadette smiled and giving Timothy a short wave as she left Nonnatus as Sister Evangelina set about the kettle and biscuits.

"Thank you Sister" Timothy stated, seeing the glass of orange cordial and a saucer full of biscuits placed down on the sitting room table.

"Do not say I never do anything for you!" Sister Evangelina replied, seeing the boy's homework spread out in front of him. "What is it today?" she asked, gesturing at the exercise book in front of him, wanting to try and engage him in conversation even if it was only the time of day. It struck her that he may need someone to talk to one of these days.

"Geography" Timothy replied. "But I quite like it". He smiled quickly and picked up his fountain pen. "Is Sister Bernadette going to be long?"

"Half an hour at most", Sister Evangelina replied, "until that point you will have to put up with me!" He smiled sadly again. "If you want any assistance you know where I am. Until the telephone rings again".

"Thank you" he replied as the Sister decided to leave him be for the time being as those diagrams looked rather complicated!

It had been little more than half an hour when Sister Bernadette returned to Nonnatus and, walking past the sitting room, she saw the boy bent over the table head first in his books and she lingered for a moment; wanting to walk over, perhaps engage him in conversation. He must be missing his mother something so terrible, but, having no children herself, she did wonder for a moment how the words would come from her mouth in such a way that he would understand.

"He's been there since you left", Sister Evangelina noted as she walked to her fellow Sister. "Not had a peep out of him". She had another glass of cordial in her hand as she had noticed the boy had drained the other and leaving the other Sister behind she walked in and placed it on the table.

"Sister?" Timothy asked as she straightened up. "Could you help me?"

"I do think I might able to" she smiled, sitting down, thinking wrongly it was a question about Geography homework She hadn't been too bad at the old subject for the short time she had been at school and new cultures held more than a passing interest.

"I want to be able to make my Dad stop being upset" he stated baldly. "Do you know how I can do that?"

Sister Evangelina thought for a moment as she settled into her seat and was admittedly flummoxed at such a direct question; yet so honest in its own innocent way. As though something such as a click of the fingers could somehow reverse the Doctor's grief. "I think…." she began. "all you have to do is be good and listen to him when he wants, talk to him when he wants. He needs time, so do you and you must ask him questions and talk to him too".

"Do you think he might get me a new mother?" Timothy asked. He had thought about it. After all, everyone needs to have a mother to cook and clean and wipe up your bloody knees when you fall over in the school yard. Everyone else at school seemed to have kept their mother except him.

"Your Mum will always be your Mum" Sister Evangelina replied. He had to know that. Whatever happened in the years to come Helen would always be the woman that gave him life. "Whatever happens now or in the future, she is always your Mum".

"But he might…..." the boy interrupted, distracted himself from his homework and, with knuckles white, Sister Evangelina could see him gripping onto his pen.

"Timothy" the Sister replied, trying to keep any sign of harshness from her voice. "Your father is grieving, he is upset. It isn't the time to think about things like that".

"I just don't want him to forget her. I don't want to forget her either" he pleaded as the Sister moved to sit beside him.

Sister Bernadette stood quietly in the kitchen, hearing the conversation hearing the words of comfort from the older woman. How she would wish to run across and hold the boy in her arms; telling him how much his father loved him and not to think of these things so soon. She understood why those thoughts had crossed his mind; they had been her thoughts all those many years ago too until she found this purpose. Why though would He separate a mother and son this way? So tragically? She had always missed her mother, for years and years, even now those times would rush up upon her and she would recall something seemingly so minor to some, but to her it was as though her world suddenly crashed down again around her young self and she was back in those days that the young boy was living within so clearly now.

Her devotion before her, it had never been a thought she had expressed of her own childlessness, but somehow now seeing that boy's tired face with the greyness under his eyes, it made her think. A young child and mother ripped apart. What _would_ it be like to mother a child? Give birth? It was all well and good her marshaling deliveries and keeping order in clinic, but something was irritating her insides that at this precise moment was not something she could entirely place. Was there more out there? She was young, 28 in fact and not much older than Trixie yet the path of her life was so different, so many avenues now closed off to her by the choice she had made not so very long ago. Nurse Franklin could get married, Nurse Miller too and have a child, but no, _Shelagh_ would be stalled in her womanhood watching these women go off to build their families of their own. It had never really been something that pressed on her mind until she saw that poor boy stare out of the window of the funeral car at her as it passed.

Perhaps she might walk over and tell him he will have all his memories stored forever in his mind, closed tight and whilst the grief will calm, they will still be there and he would survive. Even if the doctor remarried - to whom the Sister could not even imagine - he would be such a good young man, brought up so well, that this faceless woman would love him as though he was her own child. Not to replace, never, but to be that figure in his life that he needed.

Until then though perhaps when Dr Turner arrived she would speak to him to see if he needed to place the boy in Nonnatus' care more often, deliberate and planned if he was to spend more time in the surgery. Yes, perhaps she might ask him, offer even, that he perhaps comes to tea again or perhaps spend the day here when the school was on holiday, save him walking alone or being in the house for hours on end thinking desperate thoughts and missing her.

There didn't seem to be very many others the doctor could rely on now. Perhaps it was time that she placed herself in the spotlight and asked him how much help she could be.

'Yes' Sister Bernadette thought as she watched Sister Evangelina place an arm around the boy and talk quietly to him as he listened intently to her words.

'I will speak to him as soon as I see him. See what help I can be'.

It might soothe the sudden unexplained annoyance in her middle too.

 ** _With thanks to Latinisdead for the prompt of a conversation between Sister Evangelina and Timothy and the sprouts of Sister Bernadette's change in life. Hope its been done justice :)_ **


End file.
